When I am Weak, He is Strong...

It's safe to say that I could easily spend every waking and sleeping moment with these two blessings from God snuggled right beside me. I have loved the all of the exciting moments leading up to Julianna's arrival, and I loved just as much all of the "firsts" that come with a new baby and a new big brother.

Seeing the affection and deep love in his eyes for his baby sister completely ruins me...and still does just looking at this picture all over again. There are perfect moments, no doubt throughout the process of becoming a family of four, and then there are struggles and adjustments as well. Times when the adrenaline finally wears off and you begin to feel the effects of fatigue and exhaustion catching up. 

For me, these first few weeks home with this little angel were Heaven on earth. She fits so perfectly in our arms, even Tuck's arms. She only cries when her diaper needs to be changed or shes hungry (okay so maybe that's all day long, but it doesn't seem that way). She sleeps for a couple of hours at a time through the day, which is a blessing as well, and she even tagged along with me to my very first business event after having her... and she was 7 days old!!! She slept the entire time I was presenting, and then decided to wake up and eat at the very end. No one minded.

Todd and I promised each other before she arrived that we would continue to invest and pour into "us" so that we could be the best parents together for our babies. That meant making sacrifices here and there, for sure. It meant letting Tuck play at Grandad and Mimi's while we went to the gym with his baby sister (who again, slept the entire time..for the most part). It meant dates when we are tired and sweaty from working out, and maybe would rather take a nap, but we firmly believe that a solid marriage with a foundation built on Jesus, love, and friendship leads to solid parenting that reflects Jesus, love, and friendship.

The greatest investment you can make in this world is in your marriage and in your children. It takes time and sacrifice and commitment on both ends, but it's worth every ounce of energy put in. This little love just had a few more newborn pictures made, and they flat out wore her OUT!!! Her little lace outfit came hand-made all the way from Ukraine, a country Todd and I were able to travel to for missions work pre-babies, and a country that will always hold a very special place in our hearts. We are so beyond thankful for the opportunity to travel internationally and want our children to grow up learning and experiencing other cultures and countries.

I can't help but share how that little symbol on the computer has completely changed so much for us in these few years. Little..and I mean LITTLE did I know how great of an impact one decision can have on so many others. We don't always see the bigger picture of things, and often it takes big life events happening and waking you up to the beauty and gift that life really is. Plus, who in the world wouldn't want an office view like this... that little sleeper is TEEEEENY and it swallows her whole!!! I am just in TEARS as I reflect on these moments again...

...and not only are dates with Daddy a must, but little dates here and there with my sweet Tuck are now on our schedule too. On this particular date, we went to dinner together at Outback and shared a cheeseburger, fries, and a fizzy :) and then we went shopping together and I let him pick out ANY one thing he wanted in the toy section. He decided he needed a superhero outfit AND cape so he could protect his baby sister. You guessed it.... I completely melted all over the floor. And before I move on, his little hand, holding on to my leg in this picture... no matter how tough of a superhero he claims to be, he is also still so sweet and tender. 

This one, she knows her daddy's arms for sure...

...and sleeps like a dream when he holds her!!! If that doesn't make me love him even more that I already do, I don't know what on earth will... I was always told that when you become a mother to more than one child...your love doesn't divide, it multiplies. Your capacity to love your children grows. While I have found that to be so perfectly true, NO one told me how much my love for this man would grow as I watch him be the best father ever to his new daughter while still rocking the dad role to our son, AND while perfecting the role of husband, teacher, chef, and so much more. I don't know how he does it all so well. 

He even made a special teepee for her, so she could stay in the living room with all of us, but the bright lights wouldn't wake her up. He is completely wrapped around all of her little fingers. Every last one of them!! 

And I'm completely wrapped around this little guys fingers AND his toes... The only two things that still keep him "little" in my eyes are his blanket, and the fact that he sucks his thumb before naps and bedtime, and if he's hurt or scared (which isn't often). I know he won't always need his blanket, and he won't always suck his thumb...so these are two things that I won't take away just yet...I won't force him to grow up on my clock. I'm already learning as he grows before my own eyes that I wish there were more ways I could keep him little still and pause time again, but I can't....time will pass and he will grow up whether I want him to or not. And as I said a few posts back, I would say it breaks my heart to watch him grow, but honestly I really do love the little man he is becoming.

Time continues to pass and we are three weeks out from her arrival, so Mommy decided to hit the gym again. The first workout back after delivery is always a beast and I knew it would be whether I waited 3 days, 3 weeks or 3months... the 7-minute burpee test was todays metcon...and I nearly died, but oh how I needed those endorphins!!!  

Then, I can spend the rest of the day smooching all over these little toes!!!!!! They are so perfect!! 

Julianna quickly started stealing the show at my events, but I honestly didn't mind one bit!! She's such a petite little thing, and a few ladies nearly tried to tuck her into their pockets tonight to take her home with them... No No NO!! She is all ours!!! You can hold her all you want at the next event ;)

I heard from so many of my mommy friends before ever having a baby of my own... "there is nothing sweeter than holding a sleeping baby," and that is the God-honest TRUTH!!! I am sharing a small fraction of all of the many pictures I have taken because a vast majority of them are just like this. Her. Asleep. In our arms. Nothing sweeter on earth.

Memorial Day came and went, but we made sure to take part in the Fountain City at the Park Day. Its every year on Memorial Day, and they have train rides, pancakes, swings, animal balloons, trail walks, hotdogs, icecream, slides, and lots and lots of old cars. Tuck loves everything about it and Julianna just loved being held and oo'd and ah'd at the whole time. Fresh spring air is always a plus, too ;)

Another event in the books, and more snuggles with momma after...I have to admit, she makes a pretty cute little sidekick and business partner.

Everyone in pajamas and snuggled up to read a few stories before bedtime. I specifically remember this being close night (last night of the month) and my babies both must have known I was just going to be up late anyways, so camping out with momma seemed like the perfect way to close out May...

...and I couldn't agree more. We met my sister-n-law and her boys at the park so they could see and baby Julianna and play with Tuck for a little while. It was a HOT sunny day so we camped out under the shade trees and stayed nice and cool. Does anyone else see that those little cheeks are starting to fill out more?!?! Soooo little still, but soooo cute.

Oh goodness, this picture just means the world to me. My mom and dad's 40th wedding anniversary was 6/5/16. The littles and I drove down to the farm to be with my momma, and my brothers and their families for this weekend. It's always hard when we're all at the farm but daddy isn't there. I know he's there with us in spirit, and so many times I see him so vividly in my dreams. I feel him hug me with his strong arms, and I hear his voice telling me he loves me. I just feel in my heart that my babies have those same dreams of their Papaw, whom they haven't met in person, but will one day meet in Heaven. My mom, though. She is my rock and my go-to for anything and everything I ever doubt or question, or wonder or just want to talk about. She is faithful in her walk with the Lord, her daily prayer life and devotion, and would fight fire for any of us in a hot second. I can't imagine the shoes she's walking in now, without her husband, her best friend, her business partner, the father of her children and papaw of her grandchildren. I don't know how she keeps going day-to-day and I'm sure there are days she may not even want to. But I hear her say so often, I didn't have a choice in losing Daddy. I am still here, and my choice is to continue LIVING for my children and for my grandchildren, because that's what Daddy would want. 

And she is so right! I'm reminded so often of the value of life, and that we are not promised tomorrow or even our next breath. I'm always so encouraged and INSPIRED by own mom to live fully present in every moment of every day. And as God's Word says: Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it unto the Lord, not unto men. Meaning: do everything for HIS honor and glory, and not to receive validation, affirmation, praise, or glory from mankind. She and my Daddy worked so hard together to provide the best possible life imagniable for my two brothers and I. While we may not have had overflowing bank accounts and lavish vacations every summer, I always felt rich. Rich in love and the blessing of family and friends. 

So I look at these little ones day in and day out. I pray every day for God's Will in their life, and that they one day will ask Jesus into their hearts, to forgive their sins, and to become a child of His, forever.

I realize they already are His, and are just loaned to Todd and I for now to grow them, teach them, love them, and lead them. What a CALLING that is!!! What a tremendous responsibility. I want them to know and feel God's love through the love they receive from their own mommy and daddy, just like my brothers and I did from our parents. I want them to know and experience the grace of God as we mess up at times with them and ask for grace and forgiveness from them. I want them to know that when we I am weak, He is strong...

...and of course, I want them to know they are the cutest kids on the block, and I wouldn't change my home office view for anything. They are my Why for pursuing whole-heartedly the open doors God has put in my path in this journey of life... 

...and on this journey of life, this little one just hit the 8lb club. We were preeeeetty excited about that one ;)

Stay tuned for family vacation pics and posts, coming next...

Much love to all of you!!