2017. A New Year. A New Us.

2016 proved to be a wonderful, overwhelming, blessed, challenging, exciting, exhausting road for our family. We aren't big on New Year resolutions, but we do openly discuss our goals for the future, for our littles, for our marriage, for our family, for our passions and our purpose here on earth. There is absolutely no one else on earth I would rather endure and enjoy this life with than my husband. We have soooo much to look forward to and God has never failed to provide and show us His ultimate plan for all things.

1/4/17. Sweet Julianna is 8 months old and that number coming out of my mouth hurts all over again!!! We are so beyond thankful for you Juile girl and we know God has amazing plans for your life. What a gift that He chose US to have this special role as your mommy and daddy. We love love love you to the moon and back.

This little one loves to travel, and made it 1,000 miles half-way across the country to Katy, Texas!!! She was sooooooo glad to get out of her carseat and lay on her BELLY on that cushy soft bed!!! Don't worry, we broke the trip up over a couple days and she literally slept the entire time, ate when we stopped then went back to sleep again.

Three generations miles and miles away from home but we made some wonderful memories together that I will never forget. My mom had never been to Texas (nor had I) and she and Daddy had always talked about traveling out west and taking road trips to places they'd never been. I'm so so so thankful I was able to experience this "first" with my mama. 

The weather unfortunately took a turn for the worse and we had to cut our trip short and get back home!!! Through the sun and rain and even some snow and ice, we made it.... Julie girl had actually been really sick before we left and I honestly believe aaaaaallll of the time she had to rest and relax in the car truly helped her recover and feel so much better. Those big brown eyes.... and those cheeeeeeks!!! Oh I just could kiss them off her face!!!

We made it home with a little time to spare before bedtime so we absolutely went sledding in the first snow of 2017!!! Sweet Tuck was awful glad Mama and his baby sister were back home. Love love love my precious boy!! And may I also say that he has come a LONG way in the last year....he wanted no part of the snow before and I literally had to DRAG him inside...after dark!!! Night-time sledding IS pretty fun though...I admit it!!

If there is one thing we LOVE about East Tennessee it's the weather... snow one day then two days later 74 and sunshiny so we can wear summer dresses to church!! This is one my very favorite pictures of Julianna. It perfectly represents her tender and sweet demeanor. 

And you already know how much I love this man as my husband, so you can multiply that love a million times over for how much I love watching him as daddy to our little ones. 

He completely melts me to the core. His hard work for our family has made itself very evident in the past 6 months since buying our home. Renovations continue and we can't wait to begin showing you updates of the house we will very soooooon call home.

We lined up front row seats together to watch Daddy work because we are without a doubt his biggest fans. It doesn't matter if its 15 or 85 degrees outside, you will find him here.

Our house is home, even though we aren't "living here yet". We are making memories here already and some of my favorites are coloring pictures with my boy....

...watching him work with daddy and help him measure everything under the sun. "It's forty-five mama!!" (as he holds a measuring tape across the width of the sawhorse leg)...

...watching him peek through the window of this door from the mudroom into the kitchen. I see him as sooooo big now that he has a baby sister, but pictures like this remind me of how little and innocent he still is...

...i love capturing this sweet little one, and those windows in the dining room...they steal my heart every time we walk in. So much still to update and refinish, but thankful for these moments.

Finishing the seal on the siding so we can PAINT!!!!

One thing I try my best to do is spend undivided time with each of my littles. Julie LOVES when Mommy is putting on her makeup and her favorite place to sit is either in her bumbo on the counter so she can see herself in the mirror, OR in the floor with my bag of makeup and brushes!! 

Tuck is also quite a fan of seeing himself in the mirror, either to comb his hair, brush his teeth OR take a selfie with Mama =)

I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but that very blanket was mine when I was a baby. My mom gave it to me at Julianna's baby shower and she hasn't spent one night or taken one nap without it. I love how much she loves it without even knowing it was mine. I love that my mom saved it for me to have for my baby girl one day. And of course, I LOVE watching this baby girl grow up and recognize the teeniest little things, like her toes!!! 

 

She continues to grow on me. We had a hard 2016 together. I am GRATEFUL for the challenges and hard times because BOY it makes me so much more thankful for each day we still have. I'm so looking foward to a New Year and New Us.

Christmas 2016

Christmas is by FAR one of our favorite seasons of the year...and I love every single thing about this picture!!!!!!...

..we bake aaaaaalllll kinds of holiday treats and goodies...

...we love wearing Christmas pajamas...

..we love the Frosty the Snowman "lollipops" (cakepops) at Starbucks...

...we love train rides with storytime, hot cocoa and popcorn, and family and friends...

...and we love extra snuggle time and book reading in front of the Christmas tree.

Daddy picked out some very special fabric to have Julianna's new but very loved chair reupholstered. It was my mom's chair when she was a baby girl, passed to me, and now Julianna...so so special!! You'll see it at the end =)

Julianna got some extra love and hugs and LOTS of kisses from her precious cousin Patsy.

We were blessed to spend an entire weekend with her in Bristol...

...and we even had the chance to catch up with one of my best friends from elementary through high school. We LOVED our time with you, Jenni!!

We also had the honor of grabbing breakfast and catching up with Steve...a very dear soul and wonderful friend to our family...someone we love to pieces and are so blessed to know. 

Time is the only thing in life we don't get back. Once it's gone, it's gone!! 

Oh how thankful we are for this time at home with family. And I'm telling ya, her big brother makes SURE she has plenty of toys and animals to keep her happy and occupied....and I can't even talk about that bow!!! It's huge!!! But I love it!!

My little man...so so grown. 

So thankful to have shared another wonderful Christmas with you, my soulmate. God continues to see us through to another day, and there isn't anyone else I would rather walk arm in arm and hand in hand with through this journey of life than you.

My Tribe. I love them so hard it hurts. How I wish my daddy could be here to see this. I would give anything to have just one more hug in his mighty and strong arms. I have no doubt that is one reason I am so easily moved when Todd puts his mighty and strong arms around me. We love and miss you Daddy more than I could ever ever say in words!! It brings tears to my eyes every time I think of you, but JOY knowing you are perfectly healed and no longer suffering. Until I see you again and get to jump into your arms, I soooo love you...and will make sure your little Tuck and sweet Julianna know who their Papaw was and follow in the legacy of love, patience, hard work and faithfulness you left.

I pray that he always knows how deep our love is for him. I remember like it was yesterday sitting him in is brand new little "Tucker" chair, 8 months old, cute as pie... and now, so grown, so strong-willed and hard-headed like his momma, but also so tender-hearted and sweet like his daddy. Merry Christmas, Tuck. You're the very first BEST gift we've ever received.

And sweet Julie girl. You're without a doubt the other BEST gift we've ever received. Seeing you completely come to life in the last two months has brought pure joy to our hearts. You fit perfectly in this little chair, and Daddy couldn't have picked a better fabric/pattern!!! You also fit perfectly in our arms and in our family. You and your big brother are so loved and we couldn't imagine life without you. Merry Christmas, sweet Julie. 

As Iron Sharpens Iron... Thanksgiving Season 2016.

Thanksgiving this year brought an even greater abundance of love and gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His hand over our sweet baby girl and our family in the three weeks following her surgery. 21 days without a bottle or a paci...lots of holding, walking, crying together.... however He saw us through every night into every morning. Thankful doesn't even begin to cover how blessed we feel to have these two in our lives.

I realized how dark and painful my daughter's life must have felt during this post-op period. She NEEDED us to be there for her, to be STRONG for her. She DEPENDED on us loving her through this time. She COULDN'T get through it without us there with her every moment of the day and night. That was the VERY dependence and need I had recently found myself relying on.

How fitting that post-op day 22 fell on Thanksgiving Day. We celebrated a wonderful Thanksgiving lunch with Grandad, Mimi, and Mamaw was able to come stay for a couple days again...it was so wonderful having this time with family together.

We also decided we would celebrate Julianna's 1/2 birthday. She hit her 6-month mile mark while in the hospital, and we knew we wanted to wait until she could actually have her paci and bottle again before we celebrated.

A few table decorations, some ribbon, cut-up fruit, a 1/2 strawberry cake from Litton's, mason jars with striped straws and family is all you need. Plus, I couldn't resist the pink and gold combo!!!

So blessed and thankful for Grandad and Mimi and how much they have stepped in to help us throughout this time. They are truly angels on earth, and we are BLESSED to live less than a mile from them. Something not many daughter-in-laws would be excited about, but I am so so grateful. They get to see their grandchildren every single day, and have very special time with them. They come in a pinch, and bring food and meals and cookies, and they never ever ever complain. Tuck and Julianna LOVE LOVE LOVE their grandad and mimi, and we do too...

...and we LOVE LOVE LOVE Mamaw... she doesn't get as much time with them, but the time she IS here, it's non-stop Mamaw cuddles and snuggles, and books to read, cars to race, movies to watch, snacks to share, and giggles and hugs all day long. We love you Mamaw and are so thankful you were free to spend this time celebrating Thanksgiving and this little one's half-birthday with us.

Wives, mama's of littles, don't take for granted when your husband puts his arm around you. Some of my most cherished moments and most vulnerable moments are when I'm in his arms. I'm so thankful for you Todd Mills, and for these two beautiful blessings God has given us. So thankful for His amazing grace, that saved a wretch like me...

Sweet Julianna... we gave her a brand new "mr giraffe" paci. She must have still been tender in her mouth, because she put the paci in her mouth but for only a split second before it came right back out. I didn't even think about how different a paci would feel in her mouth, against her new healing palate. Nevertheless, she held on to him for quite some time that evening....and ps-- do you seeeeeee those little cheeks on our baby girl!!!???!?!? 

Watching her thrive and grow and fill out even more just showed me every single day how much she was struggling in her first 6 months of life...  it breaks my heart at the same time, but goodness, we aren't suppose to look back or behind us, because that's never the direction we are heading. So we keep our eyes forward and look ahead with excitement and completely giddiness for what God has in store next for our family.

12.4.16. Seven months of pure joy. This girl is loving life and loving everyone she meets along the way. We call her our joyful Julianna because she truly just exudes such joy in everything she does...

We even made a trip to Western Carolina University to help our sweet Nephew James celebrate his big #5 birthday!!!! I can't believe he is 5!!! The weekend he was born followed the week we miscarried our first baby, and I won't ever forget the JOY I had in my heart for my brother and sister in law as they welcomed him into their arms. Another picture of God's amazing grace, and how He both takes away but He GIVES and it always seems to be in abundance. 

James has espcially amazing birthday parties because his daddy (my younger brother, Evan) is the head strength and conditioning coach at WCU, so we almost always get to have his little party at the field house, and Uncle Evan leads aaaaaallll of the cousins through linemen drills and races...

Little Tuck, hooked up to the sled and ready for take-off... 

We are pretty blessed in the fact that our family is still very very close, and when there is a birthday, we ALL get together to party and play. I love watching these cousins grow up together. We don't see each other every day, but its often enough that we all have a deep deep love for one another and a complete BLAST catching up and playing together and tackling...

It always seems that every time we are with family, we just top off our hearts fullness again and again. The space of time in between can seem challenging and difficult at times, but it always makes it more special when we are together.

Happy 5th Birthday, James!! We love you and your family so much! 

Julianna got to see her surgeon today for her cleft palate repair follow-up, along with about 8 other specialists to check her hearing, her speech development, her nutritional development, etc etc etc... We spent about two hours at Children's and even got to see the NEW Tower...its absolutely beautiful!! But even better than that...her ear tubes are intact, open and her hearing screen was normal. Her speech development is right on track. She is gaining weight beautifully, which we knew because she eats like a BOSS, and most of all, her new palate is absolutely perfect!!!

We celebrated with her team of specialists and with her surgeon Dr Mark Ray, who took the time and thoughtfulness to expedite the discharge process and escort us out himself!! We are just in awe of God's wonderful blessings over our family and espcially over our sweet baby girl...who by the way, has fallen back in love with mr giraffe. She tried her best to stay awake for all of the fun, but clearly couldn't hold those big brown eyes open any longer. And what a JOY it is to see her so peacfully sleeping... We will certainly continue to celebrate every single day the joyful Julianna that she is.

Now. These women. I have yet to get through sharing about them without tears pouring. They have been the most out of this world amazing small group. They will never know how special they are to me. They welcomed me into their group with open arms, and the very first night I met them I poured my heart out all over them. They too, were my saving grace during my darkest of dark days and I will never ever ever forget the impact each one of them have had and still have on my life. They are authentic. They are REAL. They are so loving, so giving, and they are humble. They make me want to be better every single day. 

In fact, we've each made big moves towards exiting the social media presence, and I (of course) have struggled the most with giving up that tie to the world. Somehow I kept getting sucked back into this never-ending vortex of connecting with feeds and stories, people I've never even met, and shared moments and intimate words which really none of them connected to my own life in any way at all.

A couple of weeks ago I reached out to and reconnected with a very dear friend of mine, who has faithfully remained off social media for an entire year. Even her last blog post dates back to October 2016, and she said it best then...

"...it's all left me desiring nothing more but to slip farther into the arms of obscurity. I've learned in today's world that obscurity, if we dare let it, equals intimacy." 

"He fell asleep last night, his hand wrapped around the inside of my elbow. In the past I would have posted it to Instagram so that the world would know we are in love. I worried for a brief second that my absence from social media has left others believing it's because something awful has happened. It's just the opposite. We somehow have found ourselves even deeper in love as of late and all I want to do is be with him undistracted."

"When I logged off social media I expected to feel disconnected, forgotten, and left out. What I did not expect is arriving at the day where I said out loud that logging off was easily the best decision I've made all year. I couldn't see how odd it all was until I climbed out of the water and saw it from afar."

...what more can I say, but thank you to my sweet friend for being bold. Thank you to my small group for leading by example. I'm on my way. =) 

"As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." 

Proverbs 27:17